—ADAM S. McHU GH, author of Introverts in the Church “Susan Cain's Quiet is SOFT POWER: Asian-Americans and the Extrovert Ideal PART FOUR: HOW. People often confuse shyness with introversion. Susan Cain says that shyness is the fear of social disapproval and. Here you can directly get it ⇩ ⇰ File formats: ePub, PDF, Kindle, Audiobook, mobi , ZIP. Download >> Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop.
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9 Best-Loved Stories by Susan Cain. THE. POWER. OF. INTROVERTS Are You Shy, Introverted, Both or Night (and Why Does It Matter)? 7. How to Overcome. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Cain, Susan. Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking / Susan Cain.—1st ed. p. cm. 1. Editorial Reviews. soundofheaven.info Review. Amazon Best Books of the Month, January How Luckily, introverts everywhere have a new spokesperson: Susan Cain, a self-proclaimed introvert who's taken it upon herself to better understand.
I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment. For some of us. Secret ballot: The Power of Now: Is it possible to fake it? But it can also be a great gift.
I was good at building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in negotiation.
I had to know more, so I spent the past five years researching the powers of introversion. Was there ever a time when American society valued introverts more highly? You could cut an impressive figure by being quiet, reserved, and dignified. You discuss how we can better embrace introverts in the workplace. Can you explain? Introverts thrive in environments that are not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can think deeply before they speak.
This has many implications. Here are two to consider: Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure you give everyone time to speak. Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents of introverted children. The best thing parents and teachers can do for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are, and encourage their passions.
This means: What are the advantages to being an introvert? There are too many to list in this short space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities that benefit introverts: Studies suggest that many of the most creative people are introverts, and this is partly because of their capacity for quiet.
Introverts are careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires.
On the other hand, implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative environments, while extroverts favor competitive ones. At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.
Are you an introvert in some situations and an extrovert in others? Were there parts you disagreed with—and if so, why? Do you agree with the author that introverts can be good leaders? What role do you think charisma plays in leadership? Can introverts be charismatic? Are there enclaves in our society where a Culture of Character still holds sway? What would a twenty-first-century Culture of Character look like?
QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group work rather than individual thought. Have you experienced this in your own workplace? If you have children, how does your temperament compare to theirs?
Do you enjoy social media such as Facebook and Twitter, and do you think this has something to do with your temperament? What are your favorite restorative niches? Susan Cain calls for a Quiet Revolution. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? Read more Read less. Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled Page Flip: Enabled Audible book: Audible book Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to the Audible book with Whispersync for Voice.
Kindle Cloud Reader Read instantly in your browser. Customers who bought this item also bought. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts.
Susan Cain. Atomic Habits: James Clear. The Quiet Rise of Introverts: Brenda Knowles. Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. Neil de Grasse Tyson. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. Cal Newport. The Headspace Guide to Meditation and Mindfulness: Andy Puddicombe. Editorial Reviews Amazon. How many introverts do you know? The real answer will probably surprise you.
In our culture, which emphasizes group work from elementary school through the business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts.
Luckily, introverts everywhere have a new spokesperson: With Quiet: By delving into introversion, Cain also seeks to find ways for introverts and extroverts to better understand one another--and for introverts to understand their own contradictions, such as the ability to act like extroverts in certain situations. Why did you write the book? Introverts are to extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent.
The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately, happiness. Questions and Topics for Discussion 1. What about the important people in your lives—your partner, your friends, your kids?
Can you think of a time in your life when being an introvert proved to be an advantage? Who are your favorite introverted role models? Do you think your job suits your temperament?
If not, what could you do to change things? In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of extroversion. A startling, important and readable page-turner that will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new light. Mark my words, this book will be a bestseller. See all Editorial Reviews.
Product details File Size: Broadway Books January 24, Publication Date: January 24, Sold by: Have students take the Myers-Briggs personality test and see if the results match their assumptions about their temperaments. Secret ballot: Have students vote anonymously as to whether introverts or extroverts will have happier lives. Discuss the outcome with the class. Homework Assignments 1. The interview: Students choose three friends or family members to interview.
The students will ask their subjects whether they see themselves as extroverts or introverts and what impact their temperaments have on how they live their lives. The journal: Have students begin private journals that are to be kept for the length of the course. Students should reflect on the evolution of their thoughts and opinions about themselves and others on the introvert-extrovert spectrum and the costs and benefits of being either type. In this chapter, we are introduced to the Extrovert Ideal that took root in American culture.
Think of someone in your life who embodies this ideal to you. Which of their qualities do you admire? Which do you dislike? Consider the two different lists on pages 23—24 of attitudes emphasized in self-help guides in the s. What do you think was gained by the cultural shift towards conceptualizing oneself in terms of personality rather than moral values?
What was lost?
The growing emphasis on personality in American culture coincided with the transition of America from an isolated republic to a world superpower during the first half of the twentieth century. How might this sociopolitical backdrop have influenced the development of the Extrovert Ideal—or reflected it? How do you assess the American culture—as a whole—on the introvert-extrovert spectrum?
How do you think the rest of the world sees our culture? Do they primarily admire or dislike it? How Extroversion Became the Cultural Ideal T he chapter begins with a summary of the life of Dale Carnegie, one of the first nationally recognized promoters of the Extrovert Ideal. Carnegie spent his early professional years working as a successful traveling salesman, but it was his public speaking class at the YMCA in New York and his lecture series that won him fame as a proponent of the outgoing personality type.
His class, lectures, and later his book, Public Speaking and Influencing Men, promised to teach the characteristics and personality styles that would ensure success in the modern business world. Carnegie emphasized how the ability to speak out and get noticed was important to being successful in business. Pros and cons: Students evaluate the benefits and limitations of the Extrovert Ideal e. Have students anonymously rate each other on a scale of 0 to10 0 meaning not at all—10 meaning a perfect match , telling how closely they embody the Extrovert Ideal.
Students discuss in pairs whether they are comfortable with their rating. Buy Ambiate Ask a few students to volunteer to role-play a classic motivational sales pitch to convince other students to buy Ambiate or any other imaginary product. Observe and report on what the volunteers say or do that follow a stereotypical sales approach. Is it effective? Is the choice of product the more important variable, or is the quality of the sales presentation more important?
What do you really think: But to hear Tony Robbins tell it, leadership is all about extroverted qualities. And to prove how successful his techniques are, the workshops culminate with the Firewalk, in which participants are challenged to walk across a ten-foot bed of hot coals without burning their feet. The fixation with engineered extroversion is not the sole purview of self-help gurus; an institution of no less prestige than Harvard Business School HBS offers similar lessons. Students are expected to be sociable and outgoing.
In this chapter and those that follow, Quiet questions the veracity of this claim. Is improving leadership really as simple as maximizing extroversion? Empirical evidence is actually far more mixed than the HBS curriculum might lead one to believe.
For example, in one team-building exercise at HBS, students engage in a role-playing game called the Subarctic Survival Situation. In this game, students are grouped in teams and told to imagine that they have been stranded in the Arctic with only fifteen items following a crash landing.
They are asked to rank the importance of each item for their survival. The exercise sometimes serves as an object lesson in the dangers of assertiveness within a group, as the most assertive person may not have the best ideas. Yet it is often assertiveness—not correctness—that determines whose ideas are chosen. The question then becomes: One study, conducted by Wharton professor Adam Grant, found that it depended on who was being led. When a leader was tasked with soliciting ideas from a group of predominantly passive employees, extroverted leaders generally came up with better ideas; their general charisma helped inspire contributions from their more taciturn employees.
Strikingly, however, extroversion had the opposite effect on a group of assertive employees. In other words, the leadership benefits of extroversion and introversion are context-dependent, suggesting that one must take careful stock of a situation before determining which leadership style will be the best fit. Recall the HBS students discussed in this chapter.
Would you like to go to school there, and would you feel comfortable in that environment? Why or why not? Can you recall a situation in which you found that an introverted leadership style was more beneficial? What could have been different that might have made an extroverted style more effective?
Can you identify an introverted leader in your life, such as a former teacher, coach, boss, or mentor? What made him or her effective? What types of problems or situations was he or she particularly good at handling? Classroom Activities 1. Different strokes for different folks: Have students select a group task, such as redecorating and re-organizing their group space.
Divide the class into the following role-play groups: An extroverted leader can help bring out the best of more taciturn employees, while an introverted leader may be needed as a counterweight for a more assertive group of workers. Your own group evaluation: Consider three or four groups that you are a member of now e. Is the leader an extrovert or introvert?
What role do you play in the group? How would the group function differently if the leadership or membership were different? In what ways would it be better? In what ways would it be worse? Expand on these questions and write a brief synopsis assessing the relationships between the leaders and members of each group. The Rise of the New Groupthink and the Power of Working Alone B uilding off the themes introduced in Chapter 2, we continue to explore other contexts in which extrovert qualities and the environments that promote them e.
Over the last fifty years, American corporate culture has increasingly emphasized collaboration and group work as the means of maximizing creativity and productivity.
An early exemplar of this type of work is the brainstormsession, a term coined by Madison Avenue legend Alex Osborn that has since become a staple of corporate practice. During a brainstorm session, the emphasis is on generating as many ideas as possible, and the tendency is to reward those group members more comfortable with taking risks in a group setting i.
Similarly, corporate offices have increasingly replaced private work spaces with public ones, with the idea that by facilitating more inter-employee dialogue, creative juices will flow faster. Empirical data, however, belies much of the supposed benefits of this group-oriented culture. In all pursuits in life and business—from training in music to developing chess skills to designing a new computer—the data repeatedly suggest that a good chunk of the most important work is done in solitude.
It is during undisturbed alone time that skills deepen, genuine insights emerge, and real progress is made. Indeed, one study of 38, workers identified the simple act of being interrupted as one of the largest barriers to productivity in the workplace.
Similarly, repeated studies of that purported bastion of creativity, the brainstorming session, have found that such sessions are at best no better than solitary work, and at worst may result in fewer and poorer ideas. If solitary work is better than group work, what does this mean for the balance between extroverts and introverts? Simply put, introverts are better suited to working alone. This is not to say there is no place for collaboration or for extroverted employees. Rather, the most effective teams are composed of a healthy mix of introverts and extroverts, as well as a balance between group-oriented and self-oriented work environments.
Try to picture the most introverted and extroverted classmates you know, and think of their strengths and weaknesses in their work, school, family, and other social environments. Now think of where you fall on this continuum. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are the situations when you find collaboration is most useful, and when do you most need to work alone?
Do you think all forms of collaboration are the same? What types of collaborative group work projects have you engaged in that were better suited to extroverts?
Have you ever worked in small groups in ways that you felt were better suited for introverts? What were the differences compared to working in larger groups, and where did you find the greatest benefits for introversion? Given your answers to the questions above, what do you think would be the key components of your ideal work environment? How does your ideal work environment compare to your actual work environment? Are there any changes you could make that might bring you closer to your ideal?
What are they? Best of both worlds: Divide the class into three groups and present a general problem that fits the nature of the coursework e. The groups should be represented by the following: Have each group present their results. Assess the advantages and disadvantages of each approach.
Evaluate whether different problems may be better addressed by different methodologies. Homework Assignment 1. Create your ideal working model by combining the elements of collaborative and solitary work with the leadership style that you believe works best for you.
Write a description of how that model will function when working on a project. Chapter 4 Is Temperament Destiny?: Nature, Nurture, and the Orchid Hypothesis Section Overview All of us are constrained by our biological makeup; the genetic code we inherit only lets us grow so tall or run so fast.
But is there nothing more we can do? Increasingly, scientists appreciate the vast flexibility of our bodies and their ability to adapt to the ever-changing demands of our environment. In this section, we review evidence that suggests introverted and extroverted temperaments are sometimes based on innate biological factors; this evidence also suggests that temperament may be changed through experience.
P sychologists use the term temperament to denote innate, biologically based behavioral and emotional patterns that are observable in infancy and therefore are unlikely to reflect any effect from the environment. In contrast, the term personality is used to describe the complex set of responses both internal and external that individuals display and experience as they grow older.
Unlike temperament, personality reflects a complicated interaction between biological temperamental and environmental factors. Some of the most powerful evidence for the existence of introverted and extroverted temperaments comes from a longitudinal study led by Harvard professor Jerome Kagan over multiple decades. Beginning in the late s, Kagan measured the responses of four-month-old infants as they were exposed to various new experiences.
Some of the infants showed strong reactions including crying and pumping their arms, while others remained relatively placid. Somewhat counterintuitively, Kagan hypothesized that those infants who were most reactive to the new stimuli whom Kagan called high-reactives would grow up to be introverts.
Because underlying the surface quiet of many introverts is a chronic responsiveness to new situations, especially social situations.
Novelty can be fun and exciting, but it also brings uncertainty. In contrast, the calm infants, seemingly unfazed by the new stimuli, grew up to be more extroverted. Discussion Questions 1. In this chapter, a lot of data is revealed suggesting that qualities of temperament are manifest from a very early age and that personality is malleable as we grow.
What would you identify as your temperament i. In what ways has your adult personality transcended your temperament? In what ways has it not? Were you surprised to learn that adult personality traits could be predicted by responses to new stimuli at such an early age?
If this is true, what do you think it means about how our emotional responses influence our personality? Do you agree with the orchid hypothesis as a reasonable framework through which to view some of the potential benefits of being a high-reactive, or do you feel this hypothesis is biased towards introverts?
What type of data or study would help support or refute it? Not necessarily. First, as Kagan himself frequently emphasizes, there are many factors beyond high-reactivity that can produce introverted or extroverted qualities. Reactivity to novelty is just one component, and many other aspects of life experience may either enhance or overshadow that component in the shaping of personality. Second, being high-reactive or low-reactive is a mixed- blessing in either case.
High-reactives are more sensitive, which can increase their risk of being negatively affected, but can also enhance their ability to learn and grow from enriched environments.
The phenomenon regarding the positive aspects of being a high-reactive child has been further examined in the orchid hypothesis, a term coined by writer David Dobbs. Dobbs suggests that some children are like dandelions, plants able to thrive in just about any environment, while other children are like orchids.
The orchid is more fragile than the dandelion, but given the right environment, it can produce a rare and extraordinary blossom. Shock effect: Create a surprising shock effect i.
Have students evaluate their response on the Kagan high-reactive—low-reactive scale. Lemon juice test: Have students take the lemon juice test by having them place drops of lemon juice on the tips of their tongues. The theory here is that high-reactives will salivate more than low- reactives. Discuss whether the two tests reveal the same temperament in each student.
Control group: Have the students split into two groups in two different rooms. Have individuals in each group try to solve as many simple math problems as they can in ten minutes. Interrupt one group with some kind of brief startle effect twice during the ten minutes. Evaluate the accuracy and number of problems solved by each group, noting the different results by the control group and the startle group.
Interview students in the startle group and ask them whether they feel their results were compromised because of the distractions. I worried that he worked too hard. When I was a kid and saw my father come home from a long day at work only to crack open those forbidding. Shower time and affection on people you know and love — people whose company is so dear and comfortable that you feel neither over-stimulated nor anxious in their presence.
The researchers were surprised by their findings. Pleasant chit-chat with the grocery clerk notwithstanding. When you do go out. This way. Have meaningful conversations. Your night was what it was. But love takes many forms. The right party can be a delicious experience.
Apparently failing to comprehend the public nature of the Internet. Did you catch the news story about Natalie Munro. It was an abuse of trust and a blinkered use of the blogging medium.
Must learn to advocate for himself instead of having Mommy do it. She believed that these kids should suck it up and act like everyone else. And she was right. The Wednesday night class discussions were always lively and animated. Once I taught two back. I also know how hard it is for teachers when students are reluctant to participate in class. Bill Gates and Bill Clinton thrive in very different work environments.
But for schoolchildren.
But in the Thursday night class. But consider this question: Why do so many high-functioning people look back at high school as the worst time of their lives — and why do we accept this as normal? As adults. Steven Spielberg.
This made my job so much harder and — on a day. Some of those students wrote me letters when the class was done. Which is extraordinary. Albert Einstein. Larry Page. Charles Darwin. I was surprised each and every time.
George Orwell. I fervently recommended this groundbreaking Atlantic magazine article. A few of us. In response to the article. I could see it leading to perfectionism and harsh self judgement with regard to parenting skills.
For parenting. In other words. Here it is: For those who missed it. Dobbs author of the original article posted his own answer to the question.
Best example offered to me was. I would add. Small expressions of support and confidence and reassurance send the message that though the world can bring trouble. It has another meaning too. And instead of freaking out. Your house burns down.
All is lost. You put your arm around the kid and say. And anxious hypervigilance sends a message that the world is perhaps too dangerous to handle. But I want to answer one more question you might be wondering about: What if your child is subject to harsh. Using divorce as an example. Belsky told me. I love this advice. Orchid kids will be disrupted more than others by divorce.
Instead of seeing these kids as vulnerable to adversity. I asked this question of Jay Belsky. These days. I have a career as a professional public speaker! It took me a while to get there. Once during law school. When I first started. I struggled a lot with following question: If public speaking requires brio and dynamism.
The mere prospect of giving a lecture used to make me want to throw up. I got so nervous that I had to bolt for the restroom on the way to class. It has nothing to do with extroversion. So I tried to look for examples of low-key yet masterful speakers — and found the author Malcolm Gladwell. But in the meantime. Then I came across this fascinating interview with Gladwell. You can craft your stories beforehand. He dazzles sold-out crowds of London theatregoers.
Then you can step off stage and go right back to being yourself. For example. I talked on the phone five hours a night. I was always an introvert. In many ways he is very. Instead I call him Gonzo. I seem to be getting more introverted as I get older. When I was in high school. In college. I hardly ever address him by his real name. On the extroverted side of the equation. And I gather that when he was a very young man. But all of this is anecdotal. My Gonzo is the same way — he throws himself with great passion and charisma into just about everything he does.
Studies show that the personality of a yearold can be predicted with remarkable accuracy from early adulthood on. Despite the variety of situations that we experience in a lifetime — all of them influencing who we are and how we grow — our core traits tend to remain constant.
According to research psychology.