Mar 16, Books Type PDF Hyperbole and a Half (PDF, ePub, Mobi) by Allie Brosh Free Complete eBooks. Hyperbole and a Half: Menace. By: Allie Brosh. Ryan Gingras, Lorenzo Rose, Connor Quatannens, and Kathleen Stuart. Summarization. A child becomes. then it will work just fine. In case you want a pdf file, first convert it: Online ebook PDF converter. Answered Oct 7, · Hyperbole and a Half - Allie Brosh.
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Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened [Allie Brosh] on soundofheaven.info *FREE *. Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened. Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. Touching, absurd, and darkly comic, Allie Brosh’s. Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh - #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half showcases her.
I mean, I actually started this one a little worried, thinking that maybe the Party post had been so good that it would outshine every following post. This is great. I was overjoyed to read your new post today! The cake illustrations are really great, and now I want some cake. Remove them from Saved?
I had to find some way to use it. Any way. The other children screamed and fled. The teacher chased me, yelling at me to stop. But I couldn't stop. I was a mindless juggernaut, a puppet for forces far greater than myself. I had completely lost control of my body. All I knew was that being a dinosaur felt very different from being a person, and I was doing things that I had never even dreamed of doing before. Of course, I had always had the ability to do these things — even as a person — but I didn't know that.
I'd just assumed that I was unable. As a dinosaur, I didn't have any of those assumptions. It felt like I could do whatever I wanted without fear of repercussions. The repercussions were also exactly the same as they were before I became a dinosaur. I just experienced them differently. My parents had to come pick me up at noon that day. The teacher explained that it must have been all the Halloween candy. I suppose it was a reasonable enough conclusion, but it only served as a distraction from the real problem.
The thing about being an unstoppable force is that you can really only enjoy the experience of being one when you have something to bash yourself against. You need to have things trying to stop you so that you can get a better sense of how fast you are going as you smash through them. And whenever I was inside the dinosaur costume, that is the only thing I wanted to do. We never fully succeeded, partially I think because my one aunt always threatened us with a cheese slicer.
There was one valient effort tho involving a catapult made from a snowbank and a shovel- I think our goal was to go in from the roof? I was 9. There's still a dent in the door post. Oh, and I used to work till last week at a magazine in Doha, Qatar, and I plugged your blog in my last issue!
When it goes online at the end of the month I can send you the link if you like: Luckily, I have all your old posts to catch up on and to keep me entertained when my minds on the mend! I was overjoyed to read your new post today! Thanks for coming into my life right when I needed a pick me up: Yay for cake!
You are in the top 10 of ALL funny humans!! Miscalculated and my mom figured out that I was eating a good portion of the writing frosting tube every time there was a birthday. She was horrified.
I had a multicolored tongue and a gloriously nauseous stomach I am a mom of a willful beast of a toddler and now, for the most part, must side with moms or my paradigm of motherhood will come crashing down around me.
Long time reader but first time commenter because I just wanted to ask: Because all I can say is that for the right cake, I too would run headlong into a heavy box This describes every single time my mother would make some dessert. I wouldn't go to your extreme, but I would manage a way to sneak some batter or dough or frosting. If it was cookies, I think I managed to sneak eating about half the dough. It was horrible This is the funniest fucking thing I have read in a long time!
I love you Allie, you're brilliant! Thanks for existing! Would you like a cupcake in the mail?? Yay, you're back!
I missed your posts! I used to be this way as a kid, but with ice cream. I would hide the bowls under my bed so no one would would know how much I'd eaten. Too funny. Thanks for the laughs!
Love this one. I'm so glad you're back. I'm amazed! I nearly killed him on multiple occasions. OMG, I was the same way whenever my mom made this whipped-cream-chocolate-cookie dessert!
Best part: It was my cake and everyone else could go fuck themselves. Made me LOL all over the place at work. My co-workers were giving me funny looks wondering what email was so funny. Thanks for the mid-day laugh!
I always thought I was the only one that was selfish dense? But thanks to you, I know I'm not completely alone in my, erm, uniqueness PS. This made me laugh out loud - cackle and snort, even - for the first time in days. Thank you. I hope this doesn't sound creepy or anything, but I kind of love you. A lot. This was great!! And now I want cake, damnit. It's one of those forces that can turn men and women back to children.
Have you ever seen a room full of adults when cake is cut? Getting to cake through window became a foregone conclusion in my head as soon as the story placed you outside.
It's tragic the way parents' minds cease to function logically once children clog them with worry and frustration.
I guess karma will get most of us eventually, and our parents will sit back and enjoy the restoration of their thought processes as they watch us chase our own maniacal children marauding like wee Huns all hopped up on sugar-highs from Grandma's loving handouts.
Again you bring me to tears I am laughing SO hard! What a magical combination, your writing and illustrations. Thank you for the pure joy you bring with every new post! And thank you, too, for the coat-putting-on demonstration You are awesome.
The combination of your words and your illustrations are priceless.
Each is wonderful but they really are inseparable. So much more than the sum of their parts.
I'm so glad I found you! We do horrible things to our parents. That is one of the reasons why I'm never having kids, actually. Thanks for reminding me. And, all your funnies are I have never laughed so hard in my entire life, I know 'love' is battered around nowadays, But I think I love you. Allie, you have made my year.
I am crying from laughing and dribbled a tad. You are perfect. Nearly hyperventilated from hysterics at reading that. Also, the thought process scarily reminds me of my childhood self: I was trying to contain my laughter from the people around me working but the snickering ended up in a bubble of snot.
God damnit, Allie. This blog is hilarious! Please never stop-how could I survive, now that I know there is someone in the world who also tried to throw herself out of a moving car? You're back! That's my wooting noise. Also the same noise when I get ice cream.
And go to sleep.
Allie, I'd have you know that you're about to get me fired. My coworkers now think I have some sort of warthog cold because of my attempts to cover my snorts of laughter in a fit of coughing.
Yes, I know that I should be I don't know, WORKING at work instead of reading your blog and desperately and unsuccessfully trying not to giggle, but I would argue that it is your fault I'd rather read your blog post than work.
You should make your posts less funny. Absolutely brilliant, I was totally hooked right til the end - and hurrah that you got the cake! This was well worth the wait. My mom just asked if I was okay since I was in the throes of Laughter. I asked her if we have cake. She didn't understand.
But I did. I did. God cake!!! I immediately thought of my happy little stuffed "cake" bunny I bought on Etsy. I also have a "poop" bunny and a "crap" bunny.
His dazed, delirious expression reminds me of your drawings. But I especially love the drawing of your "evil plotting" face. The big, pathetic eyes remind me of my chihuahua whenever she's terrified of something.
Your posts are the only thing on the entire internet that actually make me laugh, as opposed to vaguely smiling or staring blankly at the screen probably drooling. As others have said, the pictures at the end were incredibly amazing.
I love your blog, keep up the great work!!! Thank you for consistently putting me in a position to be silently doubled-over, teary-eyed, and desperately trying not to snort in hysterics while at my office. I love you in all your glorious hilariousness, but the adult in me wants to know how you were punished and assure that it was adequate. I guess that says a lot about your skills as a writer - way to make me still love you but feel so strongly what adults must have felt about this!
Your gift of words has caused me to laugh myself to tears not only while I'm in the midst of an depressed downswing, but also in the middle of a bookstore. And hilarious. Thank you for sharing your gift with the rest of us.
Somebody just implemented photoshop into their comics! That was epic. I would have never made or brought cake into the house ever again out of pure evil spite. Perhaps I shouldn't become a parent. I believe I'm starting to scare my co-workers by reading your posts at work, but I cannot help myself. Also, this was too well-timed to not link back to my blog.
Ahhhhh finally a new post!! It feels like it's been forever! And this one absolutely didn't disappoint - hysterical as always. Allie, I need to stop reading your articles and therefore you really need to stop posting them when I'm in the middle of a boring Contracts class. It is entirely inappropriate to start laughing uncontrollably when discussing the tedious details of the Uniform Commercial Code.
I was doing pretty well until the look on your face when you got caught. I still have a similar reaction after eating a bit of ice cream cake. So I assume from your wording that now you DO have the ability to pick locks? I only just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and then spent the better part of a work week trying not to let my boss hear me snorting with laughter as a read through ALL your archives!
And then I was out of posts to read and it made me feel sad. But I checked every single day for a new post, and here it is! But now I've read it and I'm out of posts to read and I feel sad again. Another post, please!?!?! It's so cool that I don't have to be high off my ass or trippin balls to enjoy this post!!
I have got to learn not to read your posts at work. I am not supposed to be playing and attempting to control my laughter often proves very, very difficult. My niece did something very similar Glad to see you're back. I just discovered this blog awhile ago when Woot! That was about a month ago for your last post.
For awhile there, I thought your absence was my fault. It wouldn't be the first a blogger decided to stop posting as soon as I find out about them, I've been burned before.
But now, my conscience is clear. Sorry to hear about Brett Favre, hope you are managing. Dear Allie, I love all of your posts. I laugh at all of your posts. I created a dreamcatcher out of all of your posts to ensure I only have awesome dreams. Your writing and illustrating skills so compliment one another that the resulting hilarity is just ferocious.
I don't remember the last time something I read on a computer screen made every muscle in my body convulse with laughter. You have a gift. Seventeen years later, I remembered that I was supposed to remember to dig it up two years earlier. I looked forward to getting a nostalgic glimpse into my childhood—perhaps I would marvel at my own innocence or see the first glimmer of my current aspirations. As it turns out, it just made me feel real weird about myself.
The letter was scrawled in green crayon on the back of a utility bill. My ten-year-old self had obviously not spent much time planning out the presentation of it. Most likely, I had simply been walking through the kitchen and suddenly realized that it was entirely possible to write a letter to my future self. The overwhelming excitement of this realization probably caused me to panic and short-circuit, making me unable to locate proper writing implements.
There was no time for that kind of thing. I did, however, manage to fight through the haze of chaos and impulse long enough to find a crayon stub and a paper surface to mash it against.
Dear 25 year old [note: Do you still like dogs? What is your favarite dog? Do you have a job tranning dogs? Is Murphy still alive? What is youre favarite food?? Are mom and dad still alive? Only then did I pause to wonder whether my parents had survived. My name is Allie and I am ten years old.
I have blound hair and blue eyes. My favarite dog is a german shepard. My second favarite dog is a husky. My third favarite dog is a Dobberman Pincher. The second thing is the fact that I just tacked on my favorite dog breeds at the end there, like it was every bit as important to my identity as the other things.
I took a break from writing at that point to draw several pictures of what appear to be German shepherds. Below the German shepherds, I wrote the three most disturbing words in the entire letter—three words that revealed more about my tenuous grasp on reality than anything else I have uncovered about my childhood.
There, at the bottom of the letter, I had taken my crayon stub and used it to craft the following sentence:. Judging by the thick, purposeful lines in each letter, I was applying a truly impressive amount of pressure to the crayon.
The sincerity of the request is unmistakable. When I asked my future self what my favorite dog is or whether my mom and dad were still alive, I actually expected to get answers.