soundofheaven.info Fitness GOD IS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU PDF

God is disappointed in you pdf

Tuesday, June 11, 2019 admin Comments(0)

"God Is Disappointed in You accomplishes an impressive goal: it takes the holy book—as inscrutable and culturally significant as it is—and makes it readable. The genesis of “God Is Disappointed in You” (Top Shelf) was a conversation over drinks between Portland, Ore., residents Mark Russell and. being disappointed with God. The Cambridge Online Dictionary defines disappointed as unhappy because someone or something was not as good as you.


Author: NORMAND STEARNS
Language: English, Spanish, Dutch
Country: Latvia
Genre: Science & Research
Pages: 603
Published (Last): 06.03.2016
ISBN: 868-7-78370-831-8
ePub File Size: 19.76 MB
PDF File Size: 10.69 MB
Distribution: Free* [*Regsitration Required]
Downloads: 31801
Uploaded by: EDDA

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and its interminable. Editorial Reviews. Review. "Mr. Russell and Mr. Wheeler have used irreverence to win an God Is Disappointed In You - Kindle edition by Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or. In the beginning, God was lonely. He made the same mistake as a lot of men who live alone, he decided to go out and meet people. Only there.

I have read the Bible. The earlier parts are circumcisions, Moses laying down gaggles of laws, wars, more circumcisions, incest, murders, temples, more wars, an ark with a stool for god to sit on, mysogyny, the Torah, etc. I guffawed like a maniac throughout my read of this book. Amazon Rapids Fun stories for kids on the go. Editorial Reviews Review "Mr.

Look for the Kindle MatchBook icon on print and Kindle book detail pages of qualifying books. Print edition must be purchased new and sold by Amazon. Gifting of the Kindle edition at the Kindle MatchBook price is not available. Learn more about Kindle MatchBook. Kindle Cloud Reader Read instantly in your browser.

Customers who bought this item also bought. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. Apocrypha Now! Mark Russell. Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: Cory O'Brien. Don't Be a Jerk: Brad Warner.

George Washington Is Cash Money: The Flintstones 1 The Flintstones Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles Editorial Reviews Review "Mr. Russell and Mr. Wheeler have used irreverence to win an audience for what is actually a slyly empathetic retelling of Bible stories. The Bible is an incredibly weird book, and I thank Mark Russell for rewriting it in a way that made it understandable and interesting. This is Sunday School for the information age.

Product details File Size: May 18, Sold by: English ASIN: Enabled X-Ray: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention god is disappointed mark russell cliff notes old testament shannon wheeler sunday school open mind subject matter highly recommend notes version read the bible laugh out loud version of the bible new testament many people greatest hits shelf productions sense of humor recommend this to anyone feel like.

Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. Mark Russell has surely written the best paraphrase of the Bible you will ever encounter. It is simultaneously both hilarious and thought-provoking. You will be reading along, find yourself snickering and then laughing loudly, only to stop and start thinking of the message that Russell has pulled out of a Bible passage.

He has both the qualities of a standup comedian and a Biblical scholar. It is rare that I have enjoyed a book so much and learned so much. Thank you, Mark, for such a fine book. I won't try to go into all the detail of other reviewers here. They have done an excellent job. But, I just want to say to those who read this particular review and are wondering if they should buy the book or not: You will not regret it.

Unless you are a staunch, unmoving believer that the Bible Which translation do you use?

Pdf in god disappointed is you

It would do you good to read the book, but you would surely be offended and outraged at this frank and unflinching distillation of God's message to Humankind. Please, please, get off your high-horse for just a while and give this book a chance.

In disappointed pdf is god you

Do not immediately discount it because of the humor. At the end, you may still be outraged, but perhaps some seed of a new perspective will also begin to grow in your mind. Thanks again, Mark, for such a fine book. This book will stay on my iPad until I croak.

At which point I may find myself in a lake of everlasting fire, but I hope at least that they will allow me to keep my iPad.

You pdf is disappointed in god

I have to say that this book has brought more laugh to my life that anything or anybody else this year. Laughing out loud continuously while reading anything is a gift that one has to appreciate for its rarity. God is not Disappointed in You summarises and condensates all the texts and books contained in the Bible in pages, writing the story in a contemporary "dude-whats-up" sort of language.

Russell has an amazing wit, a a daring sense of irreverence, a profane humour, and a great insight into the incongruence of the historical figures and events the Bible presents us with. It reminds me, in a way, of the way Monty Python approached Biblical facts in their unforgettable film "The Life of Brian". However, Russell does not deform or twists the stories and behaviours or laws contained in the Bible no matter how nonsensical or farcical they might appear.

We have to remind ourselves that these stories were written and compiled thousands of years ago. In the introduction, Russell says: If you want to reject the Bible as ancient superstition or digest it as the holy word of God, that's up to you. I just thought you might like to know what's actually in the hot dog.

That is not his job or intention. You might think that reading anything Biblical is too serious, uninteresting, or religious. You might adduce that you aren't a believer, or a Christian. It doesn't matter. Russell's book is almost better than the original, forgive my enthusiasm. The book will especially appeal to agnostics, atheists and lax Christians and Jews with a sense of humour. I guarantee, that you will still find yourself laughing out loud. To those who are practising believers, you might be irritated by the tone of some of the language used, but you won't find anything you haven't heard before in more dramatic formal terms if you go to Mass every Sunday and listen i.

This not a book for everybody, though, because it touches on divine matters, and that is always a sensitive pruritus to scratch. Zealots, bigots, fundamentalists and any other -ish people who take religion to the letter might be angry, upset and even deprecatory. Knowing that, please dear bigot don't make a ziggurat of an issue about the authors' enterprise if you decide to go ahead and read it.

You've been warned. You are very welcome. I was a bit disappointed with Wheeler's illustrations. I like his drawing technique and character creation, and his illustrations are funny, some of them matching Russell's inspiration perfectly. And those are the people who create your culture, write your history. It might be construction works who build your nation, but it's the nerds who make it a civilization. Russell says that his motivation for writing this book was his desire to make the Bible more accessible.

While working on this project, however, Russell states how surprised he was by what he found: How many dark, hilarious, or truly profound passages the Bible contained that I was never taught, probably because all anyone really wanted me to learn was how to sit quietly, eat my carrots, and feel guilty.

A solid conversation starter as well. The only issues I had was that - like the Bible - God is Disappointed in You is hard to read straight through. And the joke started to wear thin as I tried to force my way to the end. I do recommend this book with the caution that the overly religious may find it to be offensive. Oct 29, Michael Ferro rated it it was amazing. Infamously notorious for being a bore and intimidatingly arcane, many over the ages have prayed for a, well, "Cliff Notes" version of the Bible with perhaps some jokes thrown in—this book fills that gap.

Whether or not you've read the actual Bible—and I have not—this delightful volume will give you an accurate, funny, and at times, downright shocking look at the most popular book of all time.

Apr 19, Heather Anderson rated it it was amazing. Mark's grasp of the Bible is not that of a theologian or minister, nor are his snarky observations that of a nonbeliever. He is not even interpreting the Bible; he is merely condensing it. And it is hilarious. I was often startled to find out that all of the wacky stories retold in God is Disappointed in You are really in the Bible!

And I was always amused. I'm fortunate enough to have read this in workshop. Jul 06, Iving rated it liked it. There was only one time, if I remember correctly, where I think the line between irreverent and disrespectful was crossed, and I definitely didn't laugh at that. Not recommended to easily offended Christians though.

If you are open to a different reading of the Bible and perhaps learning some new things about what the stories in the Bible tell I think you would enjoy this book. I do think the audio book is a better choice because you get the writer's vocal inflection on what he wrote and thinks.

I died. I really died! This is hilarious! It's a summary of the books in the bible. Like sparknotes with snark. View 1 comment. Jan 08, Allysia K rated it really liked it. I loved this book! If you've ever wanted to read a humorous and condensed version of the Bible, this is the one. To give you a sense of what I mean, here's a quote from the book regarding a bunch of Old Testament laws: If you have a wet dream, you have to take a bath.

If you have a pus-filled sore, take a bath and then burn your clothes. If someone gets a skin disease, make him take a bath and shave off all his hair. If I loved this book! If a man with eczema spits on you, you have to take a bath and burn all your clothes. Aug 20, Killian rated it it was amazing Shelves: God is Disappointed in You took me significantly longer to read than I had initially assumed. The Bible can be quite dull subject matter, especially for a non-Christian.

That being said, I truly did enjoy this book. Re "What do we call it? Religion can be such a serious, touchy subject for many people, so I don't know that this book is for everyone, as I can see the more devout being offended at the language and seemingly lackadaisical attitude expressed towards one of the worlds most "holy" of books.

Most of the Old Testament is about land battles and genealogies or as Russell states, God's attempt at scrap-booking and God smiting or promising to smite people. And there is a reason that a lot of Christians at least the ones that I personally know have never actually read the entire Bible. It's dull.

I think Leviticus is my favorite example of this, but Russell was able to even make that chapter interesting to me. God is Disappointed in You 's setup is basically that each chapter of the Bible has a corresponding chapter in there.

They are not always just straight prose either. Having read the majority of the Old Testament, I can speak to the veracity of that particular section, and the humor that Russell brought to it was very amusing. I also learned several things I didn't know before.

Like, for example, how Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are all the same damn story just told by different people. No author today could get away with that kind of repetition. Russell tired to make them each individually interesting, but you can read the same story only so many times before you get tired of it.

And the rest of the New Testament, with the exception of Revelations, is basically just a bunch of letters from apostles. So there's that. Loved this irreverent view of the Bible, and I will actually be buying this book as soon as I get done with this review. Yes, I loved it that much. Aug 19, Robert Gustavo rated it really liked it.

I was raised in a completely non-religious household. Growing up, I learned of Christianity through the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar", and only got into that because Ian Gillan of Deep Purple was Jesus in the original recording, and I was vaguely aware that there were some differences from the generally accepted story I was pretty sure Judas didn't come down from heaven to sing the closing number flanked by foxy angels in the book, and was generally not regarded as favorably as in the musica I was raised in a completely non-religious household.

Growing up, I learned of Christianity through the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar", and only got into that because Ian Gillan of Deep Purple was Jesus in the original recording, and I was vaguely aware that there were some differences from the generally accepted story I was pretty sure Judas didn't come down from heaven to sing the closing number flanked by foxy angels in the book, and was generally not regarded as favorably as in the musical.

Later I would add the Woody Guthrie song "Jesus Christ" to my biblical education, but I would sometimes mix up the lyrics from "Jesse James", since they have the same tune, and get confused. Again, not the commonly accepted story although, didn't the Mormons have Jesus running around the Wild West? So, maybe? I tried to read the Bible, because it is culturally important, and so many Johnny Cash songs reference it, but could never get past the language, or all the begetting.

This slim little volume, however, was entirely doable. It's condensed, to the point where it might be leaving things out that aren't just begetting, but it was entirely doable. The four gospels probably could have benefitted from a little bit more space -- they blend together a bit here, where I think they are meant to be more like "Roshomon", with four very distinct views of the same events.

And Paul And the Old Testament rambles a bit. But, it was all very readable, enjoyable and short. It also doesn't read as mean-spirited in any way. So a quick, basic framework. I simply could not finish this book. I made it into the prophets, and that was far enough. I am an atheist. On the other hand, I think calling bible characters "dicks" is over the top, inflammatory, and comp I simply could not finish this book.

On the other hand, I think calling bible characters "dicks" is over the top, inflammatory, and completely without purpose other than the shock value.

Buy for others

If you don't mind the humor of a 13yo, then you may enjoy this synopsis. If, however, you find name-calling offensive or immature, this is not the read for you. Mar 24, Amy Temple harper rated it it was amazing. I have read the Bible. That was many years of "verses" of curses where I thought God was omnipotent and I was schizophrenic. I can't think of a better way to go. Jul 13, Christoph rated it it was amazing. Der hinzukommende Gedanke einer Institution kam dazu erschwerend hinzu.

Seiher ruhte es teils gelangweilt auf dem Nachtkasterl, darauf wartend konsumiert zu werden - nun endlich war es soweit, und es wurde sogleich verschlungen. All diese Geschichten aus den Perspektiven der Beiden zu lesen war mehr als nur erfrischend, sie benutzen dazu nicht unbedingt die feinsten Vergleiche, werden dabei doch nicht beleidigend zumindest aus meier Sicht nicht. Es mag diese Reduktion sein, der Anteil an Sex, Gewalt und manchem mehr wird dabei noch deutlicher.

You mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyone is a theology scholar, may I continue uninterrupted? Alan Rickman , Dogma Jul 17, Allan rated it it was ok Shelves: A quick audio read that was funny and informative in parts, but repetitive in its style of satire in others - bought as an Audible daily deal, so no great loss, but one that won't live long in the memory for me.

Jan 21, Wray F rated it really liked it. For the life of me, I can't imagine anyone reading through the Old Testament and the New and not coming away a non-believer. These books are so full of downright bizarre people and events, so full of mythology posing as "history", and so full of weird outcasts telling one how to live their life, that it's impossible to imagine the majority of the country falling into this nonsense and the rest of us having to listen to them.

Clearly, the only parts of the Bible most people hear are the select li For the life of me, I can't imagine anyone reading through the Old Testament and the New and not coming away a non-believer. Clearly, the only parts of the Bible most people hear are the select little stories that the local pastor or priest can make into a tidy little lesson to send the parishioners away with a holier-than-thou smile on their face. I mean, who really wants to go to the trouble of reading all the tedious minutia in those collections anyway?

I've tried a few times during my life, but gave up in bored exasperation. This book has some humor to actually make these weird stories tolerable. The book was given to me as a gift from a friend who knows where I stand regarding religion in general. I don't think he was trying to convert me. I had never heard of it before, but I read it quickly and enjoyed it.

You can imagine a cartoon-like, angry, jealous god, riding around on the Ark of the Covenant, smiting this way and that.

Disappointed pdf is you god in

You can't even make THEM true believers. The New Testament is made up of a small, select group of the entourage of Jesus, who all tended to see miracles and spirits when no one else was around. I didn't realize how small this group actually was and the fact it seems like half the writings and letters were penned from inside Roman prisons.

Jesus was the ultimate, peace-sign throwing hippie. You can clearly see his influence on the 's. Some nice naive messages. He's like the Graham Nash of 2, years ago. Wonder if he was loaded up on coke too. Too bad the Republicans who claim to love him seemed to miss what those messages actually were. The Book of Revelation was hysterical. The guy who wrote it was a hermit living by himself in a cave on an island.

‘God Is Disappointed in You’ by Mark Russell and Shannon Wheeler

He heard the Romans had destroyed the temple in Jeruselum and lost his shit, claimed he saw an angel again Hard to believe a council of men years later actually approved putting it in the final Bible collection. I mean, Jesus riding out of the sky on a big white horse, brandishing a sword.

Seven headed dragons chasing women around and trying to eat their babies Are people really scared of this? One can certainly tell the stories in the Bible were just about all written by men. Women are almost never positive characters: Trying to find a positive woman character in these books is like the proverbial needle in the haystack.

To make a Biblical film, you would need Hollywood's most sexist, chauvinistic, casting-couch director. Sex, in general, seems to be a frightening concept for these guys. Be afraid of the vagina. Be very afraid. Like many non-believers, I'd like to be aware of what's actually in the Bible if the need comes and I'm challenged at Thanksgiving. It's never a good idea to argue from the side of ignorance. There are some fun stories in the Bible, but If you want to know the content of the Bible and have some fun reading it, this book is for you.

Sep 04, Shawn Fields rated it it was amazing. One of the most interesting things to study is what exactly people choose to believe, or not believe, in the face of evidence or lack thereof.

I personally have a hard time identifying with hardline fundamentalists. I have found my soulmate in Mark Russell. Russell set out to create a modern, humorous, summary of the Bible.

God Is Disappointed in You by Mark Russell

The result is self-described as irreverent. You can take the Bible seriously, but not take every single line seriously. If you are okay with this statement you will probably enjoy the book. If you are a literalist, you will find this book to be sacrilegious. I like to laugh, but rarely find a book that makes me laugh out loud. I guffawed like a maniac throughout my read of this book.

Here are some of the amazing lines: The last speech of Moses: If you have trouble remembering all these laws, then as a rule of thumb, treat each other well and you should be okay.

I mean, my portfolio is really blowing up. Hey, is that a two-headed goat? The above quotes are pretty PG compared with the rest of the book, which reads more like a Comedy Central Roast. Whether you are reading this for spiritual enlightenment, or just for comedy lewd, crude, but hilarious comedy , it is well worth your time. May 01, Nikmaack rated it it was ok.

I am not even slightly religious, and honestly, I think Christianity is stupid. So a book that summarizes the bible, so I could read it without reading it, seemed interesting. Cut out all the boring bits and the old timey language and get to the point. Even with hacking out all of that? It's still pretty boring. Especially the new testament. Good lord, it is dull.

At least the old testament has stories. The new testament is just a bunch of blather. This book is a bit uneven. Sometimes it's irrev I am not even slightly religious, and honestly, I think Christianity is stupid.

Sometimes it's irreverent and mocking. Other times it seems to take the whole matter quite seriously. Who is this written for, really? In an afterword, the author talks about how the text has actually been used in bible studies.

Which I find shocking. There are parts that seem to openly mock religion. But other parts are fawning. And then it sort of struck me The author is kind of hard on the old testament, and gives the new testament a bit of a pass. I didn't go into this bible completely blind: This book seems to gloss over the crazier things Jesus said.

Where's the bit about kids hating their parents and all that? In this text, Christ is all about love. Those passages where he's a rebel leader calling for war are suspiciously absent.

Maybe it's okay to mock the old testament, but mocking Jesus will still get you murdered. The cartoons are mostly unfunny and add nothing. They're very much like those New Yorker cartoons where you read them and think, someone rich is wryly chuckling over this because they don't know what funny is.

I guess this book does its job. I just don't care. The bible is boring, even when written as a summary.

To me, this book reads very much like a satire where the author has mixed feelings about the subject. Or maybe I'm just not the intended audience, because I think the bible is stupid. Nov 09, Erik rated it really liked it. I considered giving this book 3 stars because of distracting typos early in the book does anyone proofread anymore?

I have been surrounded by bible thumpers most of my life and even went to a church or two when I was too young to say no, but in all my years of breathing I have had no c I considered giving this book 3 stars because of distracting typos early in the book does anyone proofread anymore? I have been surrounded by bible thumpers most of my life and even went to a church or two when I was too young to say no, but in all my years of breathing I have had no clue about the bible beyond what others have told me.

If this book is true to form, I think I've been led astray. Let's just put this out there if you're sensitive about religion, don't read any more because I'm about to utilize my 1st amendment rights: I'm cool with people practicing whatever religion they want to practice, and if Christians want to thump on bibles and call them "true" that's their bidness Having said all that, there is a lot of awesome wisdom in the New Testament section where Christ shows up, wisdom that almost none of the bible thumpers seem to embrace.

Show of hands: Yeah, me too. Nope, he doesn't pop up until way far into the book. The earlier parts are circumcisions, Moses laying down gaggles of laws, wars, more circumcisions, incest, murders, temples, more wars, an ark with a stool for god to sit on, mysogyny, the Torah, etc. It's like a bunch of historical and religious essays collected into one volume. How does anyone know where to start? Anyway, I really liked this book and I can't imagine ever cracking open an actual bible after reading it.

It feels like Russell just retold what's in the bible, no agendas. I'll never know for sure, but that's okay. May 01, Gavin rated it it was amazing. I bought this on a whim and I'm glad I did as Mark Russell's abridged journey through the books of the bible turned out to be highly entertaining and engaging. Russell's aim was to stay true to the content of the bible while breaking the various books down to their essential message and telling it in a way that would be accessible to modern readers.

Did he manage that? As far as accuracy goes I've no idea as I've never had the patience to suffer through the archaic language of the actual bible!

What he did succeed in was giving a summary of the various books in the bible and telling it all in a very engaging and entertaining way.