TRUE LOVE—TRUE LIVING. Distinguished psychologist Dr. Nathaniel Branden offers us a new understanding of the meaning of romantic love. —what love is. "WE retells the myth of Tristan and Iseult, one of the earliest romance tales, and uses it as a reference point to explain the essence and meaning of romantic love. Provides an illuminating explanation of the origins and meaning of romantic love and shows how a proper understanding of its psychological dynamics can.
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We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love lived in Tintagel Castle, and the King was as a father to him, and a deep love grew between them. L2Y Free EBOOK PDF Download | Read Online. Search this site We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love By Robert A. Johnson EBOOK. by Robert A. Johnson. Jung (), Joseph Bédier (), Joseph Bʹedier () BFL8 J63
Mar 20, Kim rated it really liked it. We need individuality and we also need relationship to a particular person. A well crafted exploration and explanation of Western views on romantic love and how it has become detrimental to the evolution of men and women. Book Preview We - Robert A. Quo verear neglegentur et.
I call that a happy ending! In summary, distinguish between the sacred and the ordinary. Have an inner life where you explore and respect the sacred and your own soul, rather than expecting another person to embody that for you. Keep your human relationships humble and down- Explains the roots of our modern notion of romantic love and why it's incompatible with everyday life.
Keep your human relationships humble and down-to-earth: When you quit trying to mix the two, you lose the drama and the druglike high, but you gain reality. Favorite quote: A man who puts anima into his marriage is putting his fantasy into his marriage and turning it into a series of archetypal scenes, a playground for the impersonal forces of the unconscious.
His wife, if she is not joining the fantasy, begins to realize that she is not so much a wife as the supporting cast in a gigantic stage play: Aug 31, Emily rated it liked it. As I tried to rate this book just now, I hovered over the stars that read "It was okay" and "I liked it," back and forth, for a while.
It was okay. And I liked it. We follows the same structure as the other two books, using a myth to help illustrate a psychological structure. In this case, he attempts to illuminate romantic love through the story of Tristan and Iseulde but he warns us female readers r As I tried to rate this book just now, I hovered over the stars that read "It was okay" and "I liked it," back and forth, for a while. In this case, he attempts to illuminate romantic love through the story of Tristan and Iseulde but he warns us female readers right at the top that he's not really talking about us.
Or to us, really - but he explains we might get something out of it anyway. I think I'd forgive him a little more quickly if he'd called this book "He II: He in Love". And I'll just have to wait til someone writes "WE: Aug 31, Dasa rated it really liked it Shelves: Book largely based on transactional analysis, using Tristan and Isolde as a foundation for analysis of delusional concept of love.
Johnson is a fine writer and great Jungian analyst. May 09, Kelly rated it it was amazing. Read this. I feel the following quotes summarize its message: Illusion is a distorted relationship between inner and outer. We give birth to illusion by superimposing our inner world of images—our continuous stream of fantasy—on the external world and on the people who live there.
We see the physical world colored and distorted through the film of our inner images. Highly, highly recommend. Tras varios aprendizajes y batallas entra en contacto con Isolda la Hermosa, hija de la reina de Irlanda, quien lo salva de morir envenenado. Como Tristan debe honrar su palabra, de llevar a Isolda ante el rey Mark: Posteriormente, Tristan conoce a otra mujer y se casa con ella, Isolda la de las Blancas Manos.
Jun 29, Jeana rated it liked it Recommends it for: It's a wonder the human race has survived at all.
We certainly do like to torment each other Apr 20, Julie rated it liked it. And it was useful and interesting. But I'm not a fan of Jung, so that bit got a bit old. Mar 20, Kim rated it really liked it. Then they wonder why all the spontaneous feeling of love and warmth has gone out of their marriage or their time together! These kinds of negotiations are always "sword" activity; people are talking sword talk. The sword can not build relationships: It can only rip apart. If yo Quotes: If you want to heal your relationship, build relationship, then you must learn to use the language of the harp.
You must affirm the other person, express your love and feeling and devotion. This is an absolute law: The harp heals and binds together; the sword wounds and cuts asunder. We seek the feeling of wholeness. If we ask where else we have looked for these things, there is a startling and troubling answer: When we look for something greater than our egos, when we seek a vision of perfection, a sense of inner wholeness and unity, when we strive to rise above the smallness and partialness of personal life to something extraordinary and limitless, this is spiritual aspiration.
But our urge toward the soul finds its way involuntarily into the one place we would never look for it-into the projections, the ideals, the ecstasies and despairs, the passions and strivings, of romantic love. In our culture we have these two feelings completely confused.
We are all committed to being eternally "in love"; and we imagine that this is the same thing as being committed to a person. But the passion fades; the passion migrates to someone else we feel attracted to. If we are committed only to follow where passion leads, then there can be no true loyalty to an individual person A man is committed to a woman only when he can inwardly affirm that he binds himself to her as an individual and that he will be with her even when he is no longer "in love," even when he and she are no longer afire with passion and he no longer sees in her his ideal of perfection or the reflection of his soul.
We can manipulate them; we can artificially stimulate them and keep them alive for a certain time.
But there always comes a point at which the If a man graduates correctly out of the Forest of Morois, it opens a new world for him. He discovers that there are parts of himself, potentialities and forces, that he can't live out through a woman.
He discovers that he can't make woman the carrier of all his unlived life and his unrealized self. He finds that there are things that he must do by himself and for himself: He must have an inner life; he must serve values that have meaning for him; he must have interests and enthusiasms that well out of his own soul, that are not merely spin-offs of his life with woman To do this does not hurt his relationship with woman: On the contrary, it makes relationship possible.
As he relieves his woman of the burden of carrying his soul for him, it becomes possible for the first time to see her as a woman, to relate to her in her individuality, her specialness, and her humanity.
He realizes that she also has to be an individual, must have her own life and her own reason for being. Neither can she project all of herself onto him nor live her life through him nor spend the rest of her life as a foil for his unlived self.
An awesome potential is at stake in this evolution. It is the potential for being fully individual while also relating genuinely to a fellow human being In becoming aware that there is a part of himself that can't be lived through another person, for which he must take responsibility on his own, he awakens to the unexpected extensity and complexity of his individual self. In turn, as he awakens to his own uniqueness, he becomes capable of relating directly to a woman in her individuality.
The test of true individuation is that it include the capacity to relate to another person and to respect him or her as an individual When a man realizes that he has been trying to live his life through another person, he usually misses the true implications and jumps to the wrong conclusions.
He begins talking about separating from his wife in order to "find himself. He wants to have a purpose in life, he wants to realize some goals, for he feels that life is slipping away from him. He wants to go back to school, start a new career, improve himself, go on a diet, go places he has failed to go and do the things he had failed to do.
If he ever looked at these ideals objectively, he could see that he can do most of these things perfectly well within his marriage or his relationship. The true reason is that he hasn't had the self-discipline or imagination to do them for himself. He has expected his wife to live his unlived life for him; he has expected her to complete his life and make it whole without his having to help himself.
Then on the day when he suddenly realizes that he is incomplete, that he is unfilfilled, that he is doing nothing about his own development, he blames her rather than himself.
He says she is "standing in his way," "dragging him down," preventing him from "being himself.
A man who takes this approach usually breaks up his relationship, makes proclamations about how he is going to change his life on his own, and then goes looking for another woman who will solve all his problems and make his life complete-effortlessly. He settles back into his rut of trying to live his unconscious self through a woman; he has changed the woman, but the pattern is the same, and it leads to the same way of life.
His "individuality" turns out to be an evasion, a circular path back into the woods. If this man had stayed in his relationship or his marriage and taken responsibility for developing his individuality there, then he could have faced the issue squarely. Our desperate need is to realize that we need both qualities in life: We need individuality and we also need relationship to a particular person. We can't have one at the expense of the other; no man can be fully and individual unless he is fully related, and his capacity for genuine relatedness grows in proportion as he becomes a complete individual.
These two aspects of life are yoked together by a deep and ancient bond, for they are really two sides of the same archetype, two faces of the same reality. She is concerned with whether he is putting her first, whether his allegiance is only to her, whether he will keep up the drama with her that transports her to the "enchanted orchard.
Finally, at the end, their only concern is to use each other to break free completely from the ordinary earth, to fly to that magical, imaginal world where "great singers sing their songs forever.
They use each other as vehicles to have the intense, passionate experiences they long for. By no means can we escape it; we who try to evade it never succeed; and we are twice unlucky, for we pay the price, anyway, but miss our transformation. There is a terrible and immutable law at work: We only transform when we take our suffering consciously and voluntarily; to attempt to evade only puts us into the karmic cycles that repeat endlessly and produce nothing.
This, then, is why we suffer, and this is why, unconsciously , we even seek to suffer: Most people take it unconsciously. This is why suffering usually seems to lead nowhere, to produce only pain; this is why romance often seems to be a meaningless cycle: We fall in love, we set up our ideal of perfection, and in time, we are bitterly disappointed.
We suffer. We follow our projections about, always searching for the one who will match the impossible ideal and will magically give us our transformation. And when we don't find the divine world where we search-in a human being-we suffer; we fall into despair. But if we take our suffering consciously, voluntarily, then it gives us something in return; it produces the true transformation.
To suffer consciously means to live through the "death of the ego," to voluntarily withdraw one's projections from other people, to stop searching for the "divine world" in one's spouse, and instead to find one's own inner life as a psychological and religious act.
It means to take responsibility for discovering one's own totality, one's own unconscious possibilities. It means to question one's old patterns-to be willing to change. All of this involves conflict, self-questioning, uncovering duplicities ones would rather not face. It is painful and difficult. The soul can only do what it is designed to do, what is in its nature: It can only lead us toward the infinite. This is why anima puts such a strain on person life: Anima is not interested in the individual idiosyncrasies of my personal daily life-whether my bank account is balanced, whether my relationship with people are clear, whether the lawn is mowed.
Her eyes are on the cosmic accounts, balanced in the scales of Libra, where the only issue is my inner wholeness. Her values are not human values but cosmic values; her only interest is whether I live and experience every great theme of human existence that is contained in potential within my being.
It does mean to differentiate between what belongs in our external lives and what belongs to the inner self. It means to take something that we have been trying to live through our external relationships and live it, instead, in a quiet, private, inner place-a place that exists only on the level of spirit.
For such people the religious life, the basilica, is found in the daily hours of solitary meditation, symbolic ritual, active imagination, interaction with images flowing through fantasy, ethical confrontation with the inner "persons" who reveal themselves in our dreams. Romantic love only affirms what he would like her to be, so that she could be identical to anima.
So long as romance rules a man, he affirms a woman only insofar as she is willing to change, so that she may reflect his projected ideal. Romance is never happy with the other person just as he or she is. May 12, Amy Goalen rated it it was amazing. This book was recommended to me by my therapist and it was so incredibly eye opening. It gives a whole new perspective of what romantic love is and what we have come to believe that it is. It applies jungian principles to how we expect to play out the myths of fairy tales in our current love relationships.
It also gives some real indicators of why so many marriages and relationships fail in our society. There is so much information to absorb in this page book that I really want to read it a This book was recommended to me by my therapist and it was so incredibly eye opening.
There is so much information to absorb in this page book that I really want to read it a second time because I'm sure there is more to be learned on the second time around.
Johnson uses the original fairy tale myth of Tristan and Iseult to illustrate how we expect our romantic love relationships to play out like a fairy tale.
Very thought provoking and highly recommended. Dec 26, Denise rated it really liked it Shelves: It gives a great perspective as to how we humans experience love. It also gives a good explanation of what is the difference between romatic love and, true and mature love.
It talks about expectations, desires, passion, commitment, fears, etc. It helped me to understand why my love parners acted the way they did in our relationships, as well as why I kept fighting for those unfruitful relationships.
This book was given to me by a friend, and I really found it interesting. Robert A. Johnson is a world renown Jungian analyst and psychologist, and his writing is clear, concise, and beautifully articulated.
If you find romantic love, or just love in general, a topic of interest or exploration then I highly recommend reading this. Jul 08, Jesse Winslow rated it it was amazing Shelves: When I first picked up this book I thought "Great. It's another one of those books where they try to symbolize every bit of a story.
I continued to feel that way until about the middle of the book when I was hit in the face with some pointed remarks regarding romantic love, it's illusions, and the secrets to a long-term relationship. I ended up loving the book. Highly recommended.
Jan 13, Casey rated it it was amazing. The book exposes and exemplifies dysfunctional love using a timeless and famous medieval love story.
In turn, it helps you to understand true healthy love. August 12, History. Add another edition? We, understanding the psychology of romantic love Robert A. We, understanding the psychology of romantic love Close. Want to Read. Are you sure you want to remove We, understanding the psychology of romantic love from your list?
We, understanding the psychology of romantic love 1st ed.
Written in English. People C. Edition Notes Bibliography: Classifications Dewey Decimal Class L8 J63 The Physical Object Pagination xv, p. Borrow Download ebook for print-disabled Prefer the physical book?
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