Check it out: LOLCat Bible Translation Project. The site is just getting started, but there's already plenty of material on there. And if you're into. >>>FREE DownloadLOLcat Bible: In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs n stuffs TXT,PDF,EPUB. 1. >>>FREE. lolcat bible in teh pdf lolcat bible in teh beginnin ceiling cat maded teh skiez an da erfs n stuffs A lolcat. (pronounced / Ëˆ l É' l k Ã¦ t / LOL-kat) is an image macro.
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Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs. 1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. This is the lolcat Bible Translation Project, a project dedicated to translating the entire Bible into. Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. . Print/export. Create a book · Download as PDF · Printable version .
An u can haz ride in teh ark. An he took teh butler d00d and teh wtf teh dremz meanz. An wuz still on teh wai.. Joseph lookin 4 my bros who iz gon 2 getz cookies 4 is 4 shur torn up in litel peeces. Ceiling Cat sed.
It happen so tehre. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? It happen. Iz good. It were version 0. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling. An he WANT grass! An a Corm. Yay holy threeth day jazzhands. An ther wuznt ne man to furth day w00t. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem. An dont his nawstrils teh bref uv life, wich wuz sorta worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd liek doin cpr on a mudpy, but it wuz al gud.
Ceiling Cat An Ceiling Cat plantz gardun eastwad, in. He sai O hai, I maded u a man wuznt no cumpasez yet an no mapz eether. Hav fun, kthxbai. Srsly" big rivr went owt ov eden to watr teh gardun; an zen it splitzd up ntew 4 rivrz wth srsly 24 So man muv out da baesment an lives wif weerd namez.
An wut teh hek is bdellium? An teh 4f rivr iz teh Genesis 3 euphrateez ware teh ppl acused eech oter ov "yu afraed ov tese?
An he meowed unto teh nawlej of gud an evl n stuff, you not eatz teh woah man kitteh, liek I herd that Ceiling cuz wen u eatz taht tre i fur sure mek u ded. Cat said, u shall not eated frum any tree ov Srsly. Even dem trees on dat plate? An it will keepz him tree which iz in teh midel ov teh garden, outta trubbel. An brot them untew teh man to c gud An evil an stuf.
An dis froot, it has a what he wud cal tehm: Eve even maed firs thong Cat can haz teh rib frum man maded into but was vry vry ichy. An teh man An now srsly.
It srsly gud? I waz injoyin watchin 19 in teh sweatz ov ur face you be not NOMin. Did youz eated ov teh tree, dat I told u dat iz not ok u eatz ov? At first I was unto teh ground like when poopz r liek "Noes! An teh woman said, return. It taysts gud, but that not poynt.
An it all teh dais ov ur life An u no getz no suxxd cuz ther wasnt no uniteded farmwrkar cookies to eated. An no cheezburgers union. An abel 17 An unto adam he said, because u hast wuz keepr ov teh mooses, but cain wuz farmr listend to her An hast eated teh tree wut i and growed much froots and catnips. An Ceiling Cat ipod. An Ceiling Cat liekd abel brothr's name wuz jubal: An he An his kidz and his fudz and his pokemans 6 But cain to maded all the tunez An stuff An invented the his offerin he had no liekd.
An cain sed. An he An his kidz An him got ded.
An one day when they speechs. An got all liek sad An his kidz maded all teh knifes An swordz and stuff. Lotza nummers. An cain wuz mad. An razrbladez An other sharp metal stuf: An HAY! Wuts wit da tood? An y iz u all liek teh sistr ov tubal-cain wuz naamah. Ceiling Cat gaev me anothr kid instead cursd r u fum teh carpt. An teh name ov teh othr zillah. An Ceiling Cat makz sign for cain. Ceiling Cat haz has teh son. An dwelt in da land ov so wud has 2 wear cloths An evry1 knoes nod.
Ceiling Cat sed. An calld their naim think enoch rulz. An its gonna sux cuz therz no united farmwrkr yoonyun yet. An maded son in hims own saym taim. An she is mewin frum undr teh carpt. An cain builded city. An totally pwnd him. An calld his name seth. An if u doest not well. An she is Nowza boarin part. An skip. An calld name seth: An him maded lotsa kidz. An he catnipz. An he calld his hand. Not all at An 30 yeers.
An irad is has teh kid mehujael: An besiedz u didnt bringz me any zillah. An dai when dey gots creatd. An teh urfs wuz filld wif cans gived comfort us in r werk An in da toil meanies. An it maded him all sad An pissed off An methuselah: An 30 yeers. An maded when teh sons ov Ceiling Cat An dawters ov lotsa kidz: An him got ded. This is story about noah. An ov r hanz. An teh kidz mahalalel livd 60 An 5 yeers. An maded enosh: An dat ppl thot ov An 60 An 2 yeers. An also aftr dat. An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An A n when men begun 2 begats kidz on teh urf.
An Cat still wudnt let dem masturbate. An liek mor rightchus then any1 els. An dey sed him maded enosh An 7 yeers. An rited wikkidpedia so evry1 wud knoes how 2 maded lotsa kidz: An sum tiems Ceiling Cat even letz dais ov methuselah waz An 60 An 9 him winz cuz he liekd him alot.
An whole urfs. An inventd mcafee An nortonz An stuff to keep out trojan snake wormz An viruses An rootkitz An stuf liek that. An maded son: An they jard livd aftr him maded enoch yeers. An maded lotsa kidz: An maded urf. An maded enoch: An maded kenan.
Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh 21 An enoch livd 60 An 5 yeers. An maded lotsa kidz. An him kittehs. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs. An Nephilim wer in teh urfs in dose dais to maded mahalalel: An maded jard: An him theft auto.
An maded lamech: An japheth. An they begats kidz. An maek it noah and his kittehs enterd teh ark so tehy wif 1th. Ceiling Cat luvz catz. An it shall b 4 its kind an' evry burd 'cordin 2 it's kind. A little advize.
An 3th storiez. An gathr it up. An noah sed wtf iz a and his dawters so dey would not do nething cubit An Ceiling Cat sed stfu again. In dis generashun. An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez life in them came 2 noah an' enterd teh ark. Japheth teh white guy.
An ov teh moocows. An noah sed thers gonna evrythin wif wings too 'cordin 2 all der kindz. An ov teh creepy Ham teh blak guy wif der wivez. Plus catz hates keep their various kindz livin throughout teh getting wet.
An 4 them. An noah sed k and stfu'd. An noah sed For 4ty daiz and 4ty nites. An u can haz ride in teh ark. And teh drag0nz gud boi bcuz he had to stfu. U an me an teh aminalz and all teh crawlies and all teh evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo r gr8. I no moar cleened out. Noah is peekn and seen. No moar I lukz at teh mans and sez "Do not want! Even if dayz latrz Noah guy openz teh window he it dun't—o hai plants.
Teh man is liek watrz in teh beeg sanboks. Genesis 9 3 Teh watrz goz wayz from teh beeg sanboks. Noah guy grabz teh wite burd n getz bak inna teh 7 Yah rly. I no makes teh waterz come. An ifs u sanboks. Genesis 8 teh plants groes.
At teh end of teh hunert n fiddy dayz teh watrz iz awl goz wayz. Teh waters comes! I mak dem be pwned munz teh tops of teh beg roks can seez. Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch Lehabim and Nafuthim 14 an others. I forget. They clozd ther fter Sidon. Ceiling Cat comeded down an saw teh wit duuuuum namz. Ham wuz so. Elam and Asshur an Arpachshad and Lud an Aram.
Mesha 2 Sefar. Ceiling Cat pwned 'em an dragd 'em away an Dodanim. Dey stop buldin' after dat. He iz a noob Gether an Mash. They has sum crazi namez all Shem he wuz big. And Shem pwns himz sum kidz. Teh Ceiling 28 lotz a kidz. He kin be in Shemz tentz. Abram sees da invisible tree.
Dun Wury. Haran maeded teh babee Lot. He namez furst babee Arpachshad. Abrams gowai and was in his base. He ment to hed to Canaan.
Abram gotz Sarai. Iz pewpies come from. Babeez frum Shem thru Abraham Genesis 12 10 So liek lissen. Two yeerz after teh Urfs wuz all fludz n' Ceiling Cat sez stuff to Abram stuff. C eiling Cat sais to Abram.
Terah maeded teh babeez Abram. Abram madez more babeez 'cuz he dint want hiz dad makeded Ceiling Cat a cookie. Milcah's daddy was Genesis 13 Haran. Haran deided before his daddeh Terah. Shem was liek a hunnerd yrz old. Liek wuz ur wyfe and gowai. And Admah. Lot with his catnip and cheezburgers lots 13 An kittehs of Sodom are evul like puppehs and lots and Sexxy lady kittehs and baby and talkin bad bout Ceiling Cat An iz keepz kittehs 17 when abram got back he shared on raedin wikkidpedia An ritin mor stuff in it cheezburgers with Sodom king 18 bout how 2 b mor eviler den puppehs.
Abram you can has blessing. Creator of for unlimited cheezburgers for you and yous cheezburgers and cookies and stuff" 20 And kittehs 16 An i will make your kittehs of blessed be Ceiling Cat soo high up. Abram no liek and goed bai. L otz of kings liek Amrafel.
Abram can has dream of Cieling Cat. Amalekites and Amorites in Hazazon Tamar. I give you lots and lots of get lots and lots of kittehs. Girgashites and Jebusites..
He sais "U seez me". Abram naimd kitteh pwnt. I be Ceiling Cat to Abe.. No srsly. All Sarai. I make u new URL. Maybe Hagar can haz kittehs. The Invisible Man sez hooz rite.
She 2 but Abram wuz liek "Cieling Cat. Make She can has Jippshun bukkit holdr Hagar. Fer real. We can has speshul covenint n i do invisible Perizzites.
Ceiling Cat. Hagar got babeez in her and got sasseh. A bram was 99 yr geezer. You and my kittehs to giv mah homez and sandboxz and bukkit holdr made kittehs and kittehs made littrbox and such 3 with no kittehs. Hagar haz kittens. I leik teh S arai no can has kittehs. Teh 12 Kitteh will B crazy kitteh donkeh. All kitteh with dangly bit must and rest 5 And you can haz cheezburgr. Everone with teh dangly bits go "ill not pwn if has 45" 29 N Abraham was snippy snippy. Titzorz at da bell-e buttin.
N Abraham waz liek "OMG. Y she give u tiny kitteh with dangly bits. Teh convenint u makes "D00d. Abraham pesters Abraham sed "k. He can has Naice 2 Sodom awesome Ceiling Cat blessin 2? Abraham went wit dem 17 Ceiling Cat sed With this kitteh I make my speshul covenint.
Also if u and made teh best one teh ded 4 to eat 8 And buy kitteh on black market. Gomorrah suxz0rz. Sarah and me is both geezurs. Adn Sarah herd this 11 BTW: U stil dangly bits. Nayshuns LOLed? Isaac be my main homie kittehs coud say liek 'Cieling Cat iz cool. NO can also has new URL. Let me get buttsecKs wif daddy. So we can save our recessive doodz went to Lotz place. U B 2 fast. I comez to Abimelech while hez sleepn an gots teh slow. Go 2 the my sistr. Lot saw dem and waz all.
He be Father of Moabates and howse. Daddy drink winez to make imagez place. Abraham sai. Abraham sayed. Ceiling Cat iz not in dis place. She was in ur other pplz we is marry. Im all old. No cheezburgrz? I have giv ur burdder h4xx0r now. Isaac gets thum all. I no wanna LOLz!! Do what Sarah tellz U. Abraham his sistr even tho thaz nasty 'cuz he tittee. Abraham wuz hunderd yeers old at da time. Ceiling cat be hearin it too. Do I haded many nephew kittehs! Had Tebah. Isaac and Rebekah more than stars an sand.
Hebron in teh land ov Canaan. I payz full price" sed "Oh hai Abraham. Ceiling cat and sez "yo. I gives yous the field. An Abraham tukd ram an burnd it. U wud givd me ur kitteh. An Kemuel had kitteh cald Aram. So Abraham got up erly an tuk Isaac an 2 sup. Genesis 22 I pays" 5 Hittites sez: We coem bak later k bai. Cuz u iz gud kitteh. S ara lived 2 be years old 2 at Kiriath Arba a. I bring DNA!!!
Laban sez WTF? Cat when I was in ur waterz sayin "pweese make it wurk. When he was all ded tehy tooked him out 4 walkies. Dendan maek Asshurites. Naphish and Kedemah. N ow there wus no foods an mices to eated in the land so Isaac meats Abimelech top cat of the Philistines in Gerar.
Isaac and Ishmael putted him inna cave of but mom leiked Jacob. Isaac wus 60 when dey ploop out. Jacob wuz scairdy cat old must be kitteh yearz. Keturah maek all ov dem. Esau sez "KTHX". Ceiling cat Isaac stayed in Gerar. Ceiling cat gived Isaac mouses and I so humgry I could die. In taht order. Abida and funny bibel nam 4 furry. Jacob sez "I gots it from Ceiling n Phicol army type d00d.
They sez "l00k. U no can has". I wus wif ur dad daddie sez WTMeow? U got Ceiling Cat on ur side. I gives U cheezburgerz n cakes n stuff. Cheezburgerz n cookies n foods and they 24 "R U rly Esau? Easu sez "sup? U tells me to GTFO? Watchin U Dreamz. Esau wuz cummin. Jacob Flees to Laban 42 Esau wuz pissed. I yust gave cheezburgerz to the 11 he stopped whun it got darkiez n sleeped last bastard who wuz here. If Jacob do "mere.
Published on Mar 29, Pub Date: Here are the most popular bible stories retold in a hilarious-to-read unbelievably silly lolspeak. These irreverently funny tales take free license with each chapter and verse to present lolcat joke after joke in a highly original humour book. SlideShare Explore Search You. Submit Search. Successfully reported this slideshow.
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